Growing up with social stigma and loneliness tends to have a mortality rate. Thats why, relationships (friendships) are better respected. College campuses are the venue for the development of close relationships, where we live, love, study and party together. And it is not surprising that many of the friendships that start or begin in college go on to last a lifetime.
So how do some friendships grow richer w.r.t time and others disappear. How do people value friendship, do they value it and show importance? What literally happens to our friendships? And how do we save the dear ships from wrecking?
Answers not to be left blank..................
I have been feeling a lot weary about friendship. It may sound odd. The frustration lies buried in me, because my relationships are very important to me as i do need people around me. I think about my friends frequently and am a very responsive person.
Though being the person who "likes to keep it going", too many of my friendships seem to wear out despite being alert of the early signs. People say, I "expect a lot from others". I need to focus on relaxing my expectations meter. I have had "friends" come and go throughout my life. On some occasions, the fault have been my way, but often they are not. The folks with whom i've remained friends for years are people who value relationship/friendship in a similar manner to the values i hold. It is painful to lose friends for any reason.
Whatever comes up in lives of folks (learning, earning, girlfriend) definitely gets in the way of retaining a good friendship. If i could pause a few days in my life, those would have been with my dear fellows. Unluckily the remote's with God. Friendships and our live's change, but atleast we should respect our friendship and be honest with them, so they do not keep wondering why he/she do not call anymore or why are they getting the cold shoulder.
The only ways to preserve good friendships during the tough times and over the years are being in constant communication and showing concern for them gracefully. Any friendship that is not nurtured well is easily vulnerable to loss. We should always accept others pace w.r.t ours. We should have the courage to accept our differences,by not playing the blame game, be tolerant of one another and try more to compromise. We need not feel too badly, if things does not work out immediately; as friendships tend to have crests and troughs. Perhaps a lunch or dinner over a month's weekend is all enough.
A friend may have been insensitive to your feelings, forgotten your birthday, or worse failed to be there when you needed his/her presence. Eventually the pain subsides but it still is hard to forgive or forget. If you are like me, you'll obsess about what happened, replaying the hurt without getting over it. Yet, it is in our best self-interest to practice forgiveness.
Forgiving usually doesn’t occur spontaneously. To pave the way, you need to be honest with yourself, by replaying the event in your mind, consciously decide that you want to forgive and try to understand what happened from their perspective reframing that it was not purposeful. When practiced well, forgiveness provides a sense of emotional relief from the turf and closure, teaching us to be more empatethic to others. By forgiving your friendship may survive by moving forward feeling more whole.
James Taylor sang about the close bonds of friendship:
Winter, spring, summer, or fall,
All you have to do is call
And I’ll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You’ve got a friend and he is waiting for you back here where it all started.
Miss U YaaRs!!!!!
