Living Life the way, Heart Seeks

Human’s burdens are too many and heavy to carry. He knows of ways to lighten his load of burdens, but doesn’t do it. Man must realise the central truth that egoistic impulses, selfish desires; indicate our own narrow self. We need to be conscious enough, so that we understand our inner being. When our soul is detached and imprisoned within the narrow limits, created by self, it looses its sheen and significance.

Upanishad says, “Know thine own Soul”.

Discovery of ourselves outside us will make us more glad. To deepen his contact, he establishes relation with literature, art, science, society and religion. His wants are endless and lives in poverty, till he attains his true self. The heavenly kingdom is closed, if you do not possess the key to open the gates of truth, which is your soul and is the ultimate end of man(bliss). The discovery of liberation of his mind is pure joy to him.

Human heart has been uttering and will utter only one prayer for a lifetime, “Reveal thyself in me, From unreality lead me to the real, from darkness to the light, from death to immortality”.

How will this prayer be granted, when we know that the distance between truth and lie, death and life is infinite. This distance can be only bridged, when he loves/reveals himself in the soul. Instead he lust after worldly pleasures, which makes them desirable to him, and finally greed sweaps him off his feat. He is lost in amidst of his own desires. And he prays to God, to sweap all his sins. Man has never tried to understand that accumulation is not realisation. We are basically flawed, having frailties in our characters. We keep expecting others to compliment us, and expect it to make us happy at all ages than self. People do spend a major part of their lives, running after the people they desire for. They find themselves incomplete and complete their lonely life, with the comfort provided by others.

Then what is the essence of true living?

It is the inner light that truly reveals him, not outer things. Love beautifies the whole relationship and gives more meaning to life, to live. Love everyone from your heart unconditionally, and life becomes more meaningful and beautiful to you. Steal away the burdens beneath others hearts and tender them with your love. Appreciate people, for what they are within, and not what they appear from outside.

Understand that, the root is your character, your view and your expressions.

Start focussing on the beautiful side of you. Make a list of goals to be achieved and accomplish them well in time. Never rush or push yourself to get quick results. Best thing you can gift yourself is being satisfied with the way you are. Consider yourself as a complete personality and control your life. Treat yourself, same as you treat others. Instead of teaching others, how to treat us, we should respect ourselves first. And never forget to smile. You never know, who may fall in love with you. 


"A chance to make a fresh beginning,
And to change failure into winning;
To live a little better,
And let your faith not shatter.
You can be a winner,
When God is on your side;
Just trust His loving care,
For He can turn the tide.”

Celebrating the Hood

The word “Women” is always fascinating. She has in her the great abilities viz., to give, share, bear, nurture, work, adjust and qualities of head and heart. She has made the society proud by preserving age old traditions, moral fervor and great service to religion. She is the spiritual vein for us. Without her, our life would be great standstill. She is always portrayed as power and as the essence of reality. She is celebrated and preached in various forms of Devi, the Goddess and the embodiment of supreme eternal knowledge which becomes the cause of the release from bondage. Since eternity, she has played a role more important than men. 

A society cannot develop without the development of its womenfolk. Educate a woman and you educate the whole family. India has the largest population of non-school-going working girls. Though rural women have less opportunities and advantages than urban women, they have made rapid improvements despite lacking in basic facilities. The efforts of government, social welfare organizations and NGOs should be thanked for such drastic improvement. India's constitution guarantees free primary school education for both boys and girls up to age 14. Overall, the literacy rate for women is 39 percent versus 64 percent for men.

Jawaharlal Nehru said "You can tell the condition of a nation by looking at the status of its women"

As women receive greater education and training, they will earn more money. As she earns more money, she spends it in the further education and health of her children. As she rises in economic status, she gains greater social standing. The list of problems and issues she face are endless. Considering the innumerable forms of violence women in India are entitled to, we (men) should salute her determination and strength by which she survive, grow and achieve so much. We should renounce any practice derogatory of the dignity of women. She should be well-respected, her needs and aspirations is essential/required, because only then she can give her best to the society. The happier a woman; the healthier her outlook and lovelier her home. Just look at her itinerary for a day; she sleeps for a few hours, cooks food, cleans the house, wash clothes, gets her children ready for school and themselves ready for job. A major burden of running the family is always on the shoulders of women. 

She is more confident and one can find her in every possible sphere of human’s life. She now participates in all activities such as education, sports, politics, media, art and culture, service sectors, science and technology, etc. Her selflessness should be respected. She has always been there for us every now and then in the guise of a mother, wife, sister, daughter and a good friend to turn to, when we (men) need support. The world would not have been the same a lovely place to live, without your immense contribution.

Let us resolve to allow her to blossom and flower. Let us pray for her wellness, dedicate our victory and pay tribute by respecting her evens & odds. Let us celebrate her hood, the womanhood.

This essay is a tribute to Indian women; and to the women who have been and will be a part of my life. This essay is based on inputs from several articles and forums about position of women in Indian society.

Happy Womens Day.

Prabhath Avadhanula wrote:

"I wander on these crowded roads
Wander through these streets
Lie in fields of lonely rows
Sown in empty seed.
And what I need
Is the power of a woman
The healing of her touch
Those eyes that bring redemption
To every one of us.
And all I need
Is the summer of her solace
The fall of her gaze
The winter snows of her concerns
That blossoms spring to change.
I need her hand to guide me
To a higher star
And hold me back again
When I have strayed too far.
And when that commotion hurries
This world to disarray
Give me the power of a woman
And I will be okay"

(The Power of Woman)

Why are U into Me!!!!!

At some point of time, every person, immaterial his/her, gets too possessive/obsessed about something or person. For some it is an addiction, for others it’s a way of showing their love. You show possessiveness on a person, when you care and love him/her immensely. A feeling, if not controlled may ruin or spoil the relationship or equation with that person. What most misunderstand is that, a relation does not involve ownership, it requires partnership. No matter how much we give, it never seems to be enough for them. Sometimes, our silence is also mistaken for “not showing love”.

So what are the reasons for this act?

1)      You are empty of self-love

2)      You are low in your self-esteem

3)      You have never ever found a friend in yourself, and

4)      You lack a sense of confidence to guide yourself.

Are these the very reasons. Let’s re-check.

Stop beating yourself for being attracted to that person for their intellect or talent. A healthy relationship means there is an equal amount of give and take. Giving back in a relationship does not only mean showering with affection and gifts. And most of the time, he/she apologize for doing something that is totally unacceptable, later ask forgiveness and promise to change with your help.

“Possessiveness doesn't come when someone needs you in their life. It only comes when someone fears that they will lose you from their life"..... When you are insecure about your love, you'll lose your friend in it. Give space to each other and see how wonderful your relation would be.”

There is a very big difference between feeling and acting possessive. The desire to have someone all to yourself isn't strange or even rare. We have all felt this way at some point of our life. I think most of us share the opinion that personal freedom is of the utmost importance. We are only human, after all.

Boundaries + Compromise = Happiness 

Osho on Possessiveness - Only things can be possessed; beings cannot be possessed.

The only sacred space in the true sense is the privacy of a person – his/her independence. If you love a person you will respect the privacy of the other person. Love is itself a moment, it has nothing to do with permanency and may continue for eternity. If it happens again in the next moment you are blessed. If it does not happen you should be thankful that at least it did happen before. But in their stupidity, people start thinking, "If this person goes out of my hands then I am going to starve my whole life without love." Lovers love only while they are not yet in a fixed relationship. As the relationship settles, love disappears. Once the relationship is fixed, instead of love, something else takes place: possessiveness. They still go on calling it love, but you cannot deceive existence. It can be anything -- but not love. The feeling that your partner is going to leave you is just a feeling. It’s not the truth. Focusing on letting go of your negative feelings about each other and the relationship makes it easier for the two of you. Reassure your partner that you love him/her. We fall in love with someone because of some special points and then try to change him/her according to us. No one changes; one can act to make you happy but within the person remains the same. 

Battle against possessiveness

 

Possessiveness is always taken in a negative sense, but don’t you think a moderate level of it is needed in a relationship? Yes, an Amount of it is needed, a very small amount mind you, because the feeling of being taken care of and the very knowledge that someone there is worried about you, is simply great. A little distance helps to keep the fire. Anything which is demanded is often denied, that's human nature. Thus, let it flow naturally. The fact that you don't demand, will allow it to come across to you. Every person has a schedule which they have to follow. He/she has to divide his/her time for both professional and personal things. Never trespass on the privacy of the person, because it is the only sacred place in the whole world. Neither Kashi, nor is Mecca sacred.

Of all the manifestations of love, possessiveness is the most colourful. Many people tend to look at possessiveness as a kind of byproduct of extreme love. They contend that it is one of the many ways that love expresses itself. Possessiveness within moderate limits can be beautiful like excessive sugar in the blood that wrecks silently all the vital organs in the body.

"Let there be spaces in your togetherness," said Kahlil Gibran.

When a friend expects to see you every day because they have no other friends it can get tiresome, but if they are going through an emotional difficult time and need your support everyday that is a different matter. Do not just jump to conclusions about why your friend is being possessive. Instead, what you need to do to is investigate further the cause of their possessiveness. To further investigate the issue you and your friend will need to sit down and have some open and honest talks about what is going on. Happiness, contentment, inner peace and just simply to have a joy for life all seem like things that are impossible to achieve in our modern world. Trying to find the path to inner peace is something that human beings have been doing since we have been human. Unfortunately, we live in a world of physical objects that are not permanent and these things are constantly lost to us, or can be easily lost to us. One aspect of aparigraha is found in the idea of not to holding on to material possessions.

Does this mean we should give everything away?

The ideal state is satva(state of harmony b/w low & high energy). A balanced aparigraha is taking only what is necessary for you to live. When we follow the principle of Aparigraha it makes it easier for us to see the beauty inside a person instead of simply judging them by external material objects. The work you put into improving yourself, quieting your mind, learning how to behave in a moral and ethical manner, and learning how to act in accordance with your true inner self is something that can never be lost. Our focus should not be outward to material objects, but instead, our focus should be inward on a spiritual journey that allows us to purify ourselves and also to be able to create positive change in the universe. 

Possessiveness is a natural instinct within us and is even a characteristic of God. The right amount of possessiveness in a relationship makes one feel special and cared. To love and to be loved is the most beautiful feeling.

Sorry for being preachy and I maybe the nth person to write about this topic, yes, but every one of us have experienced this. My words/expressions are never my alone.

William Wordsworth wrote

“The world is too much with us; late and soon,

Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;

Little we see in Nature that is ours;

We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!”

Fighting the Odds!!!!!

Growing up with social stigma and loneliness tends to have a mortality rate. Thats why, relationships (friendships) are better respected. College campuses are the venue for the development of close relationships, where we live, love, study and party together. And it is not surprising that many of the friendships that start or begin in college go on to last a lifetime. 

So how do some friendships grow richer w.r.t time and others disappear. How do people value friendship, do they value it and show importance? What literally happens to our friendships? And how do we save the dear ships from wrecking?

Answers not to be left blank..................

I have been feeling a lot weary about friendship. It may sound odd. The frustration lies buried in me, because my relationships are very important to me as i do need people around me. I think about my friends frequently and am a very responsive person.

Though being the person who "likes to keep it going", too many of my friendships seem to wear out despite being alert of the early signs. People say, I "expect a lot from others". I need to focus on relaxing my expectations meter. I have had "friends" come and go throughout my life. On some occasions, the fault have been my way, but often they are not. The folks with whom i've remained friends for years are people who value relationship/friendship in a similar manner to the values i hold. It is painful to lose friends for any reason. 

Whatever comes up in lives of folks (learning, earning, girlfriend) definitely gets in the way of retaining a good friendship. If i could pause a few days in my life, those would have been with my dear fellows. Unluckily the remote's with God. Friendships and our live's change, but atleast we should respect our friendship and be honest with them, so they do not keep wondering why he/she do not call anymore or why are they getting the cold shoulder. 

The only ways to preserve good friendships during the tough times and over the years are being in constant communication and showing concern for them gracefully. Any friendship that is not nurtured well is easily vulnerable to loss. We should always accept others pace w.r.t ours. We should have the courage to accept our differences,by not playing the blame game, be tolerant of one another and try more to compromise. We need not feel too badly, if things does not work out immediately; as friendships tend to have crests and troughs. Perhaps a lunch or dinner over a month's weekend is all enough. 

A friend may have been insensitive to your feelings, forgotten your birthday, or worse failed to be there when you needed his/her presence. Eventually the pain subsides but it still is hard to forgive or forget. If you are like me, you'll obsess about what happened, replaying the hurt without getting over it. Yet, it is in our best self-interest to practice forgiveness.

Forgiving usually doesn’t occur spontaneously. To pave the way, you need to be honest with yourself, by replaying the event in your mind, consciously decide that you want to forgive and try to understand what happened from their perspective reframing that it was not purposeful. When practiced well, forgiveness provides a sense of emotional relief from the turf and closure, teaching us to be more empatethic to others. By forgiving your friendship may survive by moving forward feeling more whole.

James Taylor sang about the close bonds of friendship:
Winter, spring, summer, or fall,
All you have to do is call
And I’ll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.

 
You’ve got a friend and he is waiting for you back here where it all started.
Miss U YaaRs!!!!!

India – Swadesh

“Athithi Devo Bhava”

Guests are like God.

This very phrase is believed to be the beginner of a war that lasted for more than 190 years – the war to get back our nation’s Independence from the British. Traders initially by trading goods; Masters later, treating us as slaves. Military superiority was their backbone with which their territorial ambitions were achieved through commercial acts. The four powers, the Portuguese, English, Dutch and the French colonized India. The first ever national war of independence was fought with the English, where both sides displayed brutality to such an extent, in 1857, which was not true to our tradition.

On the positive side, railways, postal service and many other establishments took place (though originally meant for their own convenience, yet they paved way for what we have now!); while on the negative side, we suffered from ultimate exploitation of our natural resources. Forest lands were grabbed from the tribes, denying their ownership, later declared as government property. The unrest against the East India Company rule kept on increasing. Revolt of 1857 shook the British Empire, when the mutiny broke between the Indian Soldiers and the “Sepoys” of the company, which engulfed northern and central parts of India. Southern India remained quiet during the revolt. 

In the late 1885, political life of India took a plunge with the formation of Indian National Congress, which dominated the political life of India; gave shape and form to the ideas of administrative and political reforms. Prior to congress, the three provinces; Bengal, Madras and Bombay initiated the political awareness in the veins of dhoti-clad men. The INC gave rise to two political parties, Moderates and Extremists along with the repercussion of the Swadeshi (Autocracy) Movement. Extremists always went with strikes (Boycott of Universities and Educational institutions). The movement was linked with the revolutionary activities before the First World War. Subash Chandra Bose arose with the formation of Indian National Army (INA) with the help of a self-proclaimed Independent Indian government. 

Indian civilization was primarily disturbed, due to various invasions and political instability in the form of Islam and Christianity. The religions became means of exploitation and were restricted to mere rites and rituals. The educated people however were introduced to a plethora of ideas about community life, religion, democracy. This led to the Reform Movement, from which a certain contribution to the Indian philosophy was also made. Hinduism developed in the form of Sri Ramakrishna’s disciple Swami Vivekananda who inspired by interpreting Karma, Vedic sciences and Yoga to serve our motherland. Shri Aurobindo offered his interpretations on origin of the Universe, man’s existence, cause and other spiritual aspects. Emergence of worlds one of the greatest enlightened soul, Mahatma Gandhi, was witnessed by this era. He provided a strong leadership and unity - introducing an ideal and constructive program to the nationalist movement in India.

British government knew they were ruling their last days due to the fierce struggle for total freedom by the Indians. The advances of Indian National Army, during Second World War made a significant impact on the eastern front. In the meantime, the communal hatred in India was at its peak. Slowly and gradually, Congress had to take the fact that partition would be the only solution, due to the rise of over-communal tensions between people who practiced Islam and Hinduism. The partition into two sovereign states on the basis of religious majorities in the parts of North-Western India was to take place. With many of the forces acting on the governance, British had to bow down to millions of Indians demands and we saw the rising of Indian Independence on 15th August 1947 through joy and wild rejoice witnessed in every village and city.

Truth is God. Without Truth it is impossible to observe any principle or rule in our life. There should be Truth in thought, Truth in speech and Truth in action. The only means of realizing Truth or God is Ahimsa (Non-violence). Without ahimsa it is not possible to seek and find Truth. God is the very image of the vow. If a man promises something, he should fulfill it in any adverse conditions.

I bow to the martyrs who laid their lives for us to live in an India that has Freedom for Thought, Expression, Speech, Education and Religion.

Jai Hind!
Happy Independence Day!

A Closer Look @ Worry

Do you think there is anything about to be worried in this world.  

Absolutely nothing!!!

 You may spend the rest of your life, worrying about the future, and no amount your worry will ever change a thing. People always confuse worrying with planning for the future. If you are planning, and the present activity will contribute to an effective future, then it is not termed as worry. Much of our worries always concerns things over which we have no control.  

Worry is endemic to our culture. Almost everyone in our society spends an inordinate amount of their present moments worrying about their future. Not one moment of worry will make things any better. To say the fact, worry will very well help you in being less effective in dealing with the present. Worry has also nothing to do with love, which predicates/dictates a relationship in which each person has the right to be what he chooses without any necessary conditions imposed by the other. Moreover, end result of which you are worrying about frequently turns out to be less horrible in reality than it was in your imagination. You may be in the professional worrier classification, creating unnecessary stress and anxiety in your life as a result of the choices you are making to worry about every conceivable kind of activity.

In order to eliminate worry, it is necessary to understand the why behind it. If worry is a large part of your life, you can bet that it has many historical antecedents. Guilt and worry are self-nullifying behaviors, which vary only in a temporal sense. Guilt focuses on the past and worry on the future. Worry is always a present-moment activity. By using your current life being immersed over a future time in your life, you are able to escape the now, that threatens you. Worry is a handy justification for certain self-defeating behavior. It is a clever device to keep you inactive, and clearly it is easier for many to worry; than to be an active, involved person. They can bring ulcers, hypertension, cramps, tension headaches, backaches and the like; and they do result in considerable attention from others and justify much self-pity as well, and some people would rather be pitied than fulfilled.

The next question in line is, what are the strategies for eliminating worry?

Its easier, just begin to view your present moments as times to live, love, rather than to obsess about the future.

When you feel yourself worrying, ask yourself this question. “What am I avoiding now by using up this moment with worry?” The best antidote to this worry is a firm action.

Recognize the reason for your worrying, ask yourself “Is there anything that will ever change as a result of my worrying over/about it?”

You may feel stupid when someone asks you to give yourself shorter periods of worry-time, but the constant effort my pay dividends like controlling your thoughts. Try to assess how many of the things you worried about ever materialized after all. You will soon realize that the worry is really a wasteful activity, which does nothing to alter your future.

Another strategy to be used is, begin to face the fears you possess with productive thought and behavior. An effective challenge to a fear or worry is the most productive way to eradicate it from your life. The most effective weapon you have for wiping your worry is your own determination to banish this neurotic behavior. The present moment is the key to understanding your guilt and worry activities. Learn to live now and not waster your current moments in immobilizing thoughts about the past or future. Remember that, there is not another moment to live but now, and all of your guilt and worry are done in the present now.

The golden rule is, “Jam tomorrow, Jam yesterday, but never Jam today”.

How about you? Any jam today? Since it must come sometime, How about now?

Priya Nimishangal

Nimishangal maarumee...

Rithu maarumee...

Ennil ninnu agaluvaan kaathunee...

Snehavilaapam endhenna unarthiya kalla azhage,

Endhinu snehamaheswaram ennil punarthi nee!!!

Verudheyo...... verudheyo.....

Maravigal nin thala chaaichaalum...

Ethra pagal-sandhya poyimaranjaalum...

Pularumo ninnil ende hridayaspandanangal!!!

Rithu maari pogave...

Pookkal paladhum malarnu veenupogave...

En nizhal ninnil ormayaai iripuvo!!!

Chiriyude saandhwanathil njaan veenu poyi...

Nin verugalil en nanavugal podiyumo, mazhayaai!!!

Pinthirinju nokkave, snehathinde aah nombarangal maathram baakki

Ini endhinennu ariyaa nimishangal kaayi kaalchuvadugal marikadakkunnu.....